When I was a junior, and taking several classes from Dr. Haddad, and things were really busy, Dr. Haddad said something that stayed with me (among, I'm sure, many things). She would always begin classes so calm and pleasant--never rushed--even though I'm sure she was busy too. She would look around the room (usually in a circle), look into each of our faces, and say, in her British accent, "How are you?" like she really meant it and really cared - like you don't usually hear it said.
One day she looked at us and said, "Aren't you glad you don't work in a chicken factory?" And I just looked at her in astonishment! Yes! Just think about the mindlessness of the work, the dullness, the noise, the smell. And we get to be stimulated by thought, interact with people, grow and change.
(so, no, I don't really contemplate working in a chicken factory, but some 9-5 secretarial job sounds really good all too often)
Thursday, October 27, 2005
busy-ness
Life is so busy right now. When things get so busy, it feels that life gets pushed to the side, and I would so much rather be real about living, rather than rushing and doing. That's the way things are now.
I'm not resigned to that. I am so frustrated about being so busy. Lately I have had weeks where I go from loving what I do, and feeling the exhileration of what I do and what I get to be a part of, to contemplating quitting my job and working in a chicken factory (see part 2...). I feel like I can't keep going with this weight on me. I go from being bitter about it to just crying because I have to get it out. Doing things doesn't seem to make it better, because there is always more to do. Just when I think I have a handle on things, I'm missing something. I have all my lesson plans done, and then someone wants to know whether their child consistently, often, sometimes or rarely grasps concepts in history...works well in groups...performs computation with order of operations... Just when I've graded the math test, someone wants the homework for the next five days. Just when I've answered all my emails, I still haven't read that chapter for tomorrow, much less had a personal devotion time, set up that meeting with a friend, cleaned my room, gone grocery shopping...
I don't mean for this to become a to-do list, but sometimes I just need to throw it all off and do what I feel needs to be done, so I'm going to have coffee with a friend tonight, even though those Lewis and Clark journals will sit ungraded for another night. (and I sit here philosophizing)
I know that it is a question of balancing my priorities. And I know with words that God has filled my plate with these things and that he will give me what I need to do all of it. But I don't feel that way, not most of the time.
I'm not resigned to that. I am so frustrated about being so busy. Lately I have had weeks where I go from loving what I do, and feeling the exhileration of what I do and what I get to be a part of, to contemplating quitting my job and working in a chicken factory (see part 2...). I feel like I can't keep going with this weight on me. I go from being bitter about it to just crying because I have to get it out. Doing things doesn't seem to make it better, because there is always more to do. Just when I think I have a handle on things, I'm missing something. I have all my lesson plans done, and then someone wants to know whether their child consistently, often, sometimes or rarely grasps concepts in history...works well in groups...performs computation with order of operations... Just when I've graded the math test, someone wants the homework for the next five days. Just when I've answered all my emails, I still haven't read that chapter for tomorrow, much less had a personal devotion time, set up that meeting with a friend, cleaned my room, gone grocery shopping...
I don't mean for this to become a to-do list, but sometimes I just need to throw it all off and do what I feel needs to be done, so I'm going to have coffee with a friend tonight, even though those Lewis and Clark journals will sit ungraded for another night. (and I sit here philosophizing)
I know that it is a question of balancing my priorities. And I know with words that God has filled my plate with these things and that he will give me what I need to do all of it. But I don't feel that way, not most of the time.
Monday, October 24, 2005
congratulations to david and jodi!
(who made it onto my math test)
When Jodi woke up one cold January day, the temperature was -5°F. By 2:00 in the afternoon, the sun had warmed up the earth to 24°F. What is the range in temperature for that day? (Show your work.)
David begins to hike down the mountain. He descends 300 meters and then stops for a rest. Then he realizes he dropped his water bottle. He climbs up 45 meters and finds it. How many meters is he from the top of the mountain?
When Jodi woke up one cold January day, the temperature was -5°F. By 2:00 in the afternoon, the sun had warmed up the earth to 24°F. What is the range in temperature for that day? (Show your work.)
David begins to hike down the mountain. He descends 300 meters and then stops for a rest. Then he realizes he dropped his water bottle. He climbs up 45 meters and finds it. How many meters is he from the top of the mountain?
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
reading
of the dog
in the night-time
is an excellent book. It is a novel which is sort of like a mystery. I highly recommend it to anyone looking to get into a good book. Most fascinatingly written.
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
a nephew
with Mark outside church Saturday the 8th of October, just after Stephanie's wedding
what a cute little baby
Monday, October 17, 2005
retreat
This weekend was the annual church' retreat held at a camp in rural Alabama and it was wonderful. I had such a good time. It was good to get away and be forced to put work aside for a while. And I had such great fellowship with dear friends. Last year I enjoyed the retreat, but this year, knowing people already and being comfortable with them made it such a blast. A couple weeks ago I learned a few football-throwing techniques and was able to apply them. Throwing the football around is so much fun. You could say that is one way I have been adapted into this culture. It is very satisfying to be able to catch one. We were throwing it around, and I was getting better at being able to catch it while running. I decided that I really like throwing it around, but playing an actual game isn't as fun unless there are only 3-4 people on a team. Once we start playing a game I don't get to do so much. Anyway, my new hobby is throwin' the ol' pig skin around.
The teaching was wonderful too and I have been challenged and refreshed. Scott Seaton talked about the life of David and exposed the self-centeredness of my life. We read in 1 Samuel 16 how God called Samuel to go find a king among the sons of Jesse, but didn't tell him which one. And God often does this to us: He gives us a command but doesn't give the full picture to us and we have to trust Him. And we ask the question - why does God do this? Well, this builds up our faith. But Scott made the point that this isn't the only reason, in fact this is a pretty mancentered view. When we look on becoming more mature Christians, more faithful, more disciplined, etc., we are actually keeping the focus on us. But God is refining us so that we will reflect more of His glory. Our refinement should be seen as a means to another end: To declare to creation Who made us. God heals us from our sin not so that WE can become more beautiful, but so that His image in us is clearer. This was rather striking, because I often feel selfrighteous in my desire to be more Christlike. And I want people to look at me and think, "What a godly Christian woman." But this is far from what God wants. How crazy how distracted we can become when we think we are doing good!
God tells Samuel that He doesn't look on the outward appearance (when Samuel is thinking God will pick David's bigger, older brother). But then as soon as we meet David he is first described as "ruddy and handsome with pretty eyes." This seems strange, but Scott made the point that this illustrates that it isn't looks or it isn't Not looks that God is looking on. I think sometimes we can take the idea that appearance isn't important and be countercultural. We think that since God doesn't look on the outward appearance he in fact will only choose the ugly and dirty, but if we are making it a point to be shabby, unstylish, dirty, we are still putting the focus on us rather that focusing on reflecting God.
The teaching was wonderful too and I have been challenged and refreshed. Scott Seaton talked about the life of David and exposed the self-centeredness of my life. We read in 1 Samuel 16 how God called Samuel to go find a king among the sons of Jesse, but didn't tell him which one. And God often does this to us: He gives us a command but doesn't give the full picture to us and we have to trust Him. And we ask the question - why does God do this? Well, this builds up our faith. But Scott made the point that this isn't the only reason, in fact this is a pretty mancentered view. When we look on becoming more mature Christians, more faithful, more disciplined, etc., we are actually keeping the focus on us. But God is refining us so that we will reflect more of His glory. Our refinement should be seen as a means to another end: To declare to creation Who made us. God heals us from our sin not so that WE can become more beautiful, but so that His image in us is clearer. This was rather striking, because I often feel selfrighteous in my desire to be more Christlike. And I want people to look at me and think, "What a godly Christian woman." But this is far from what God wants. How crazy how distracted we can become when we think we are doing good!
God tells Samuel that He doesn't look on the outward appearance (when Samuel is thinking God will pick David's bigger, older brother). But then as soon as we meet David he is first described as "ruddy and handsome with pretty eyes." This seems strange, but Scott made the point that this illustrates that it isn't looks or it isn't Not looks that God is looking on. I think sometimes we can take the idea that appearance isn't important and be countercultural. We think that since God doesn't look on the outward appearance he in fact will only choose the ugly and dirty, but if we are making it a point to be shabby, unstylish, dirty, we are still putting the focus on us rather that focusing on reflecting God.
Friday, October 14, 2005
farmers' market reason #3
you can visit the farmers' market and not hear english spoken. Your cashiers are bound to speak with a foreign accent.
this is sweet to my ears.
this is sweet to my ears.
some thoughts on friendship
I've been challenged to think recently on friendships that we have on this earth. I guess it's come at me from several fronts, and after emailing thoughts to a friend, I decided to put it on my blog. I'm really hoping this blog can be a neat record of not only what's doing in my life, but also the things I'm learning and thinking through. Unfortunately, I am continually finding myself in some place where I can't get my thoughts to a computer when my mind is spinning. And even now I should probably be making dinner or reading those chapters for tomorrow, but this really is a beneficial and awesome thing to do, and I know I won't regret it.
I living in this big city Atlanta, but really my life is within a relatively small community. And I'm glad for that - it's probably most of what keeps me here. But in a small community, you can't leave awkward or broken relationships alone without things going rotten. My students' families go to my church, my student is my next door neighbor, my dear friends worship with me on Sunday morning, my students watch me interact with my friends after church, I even see their parents at Starbucks...
The point is, if I sin agaisnt someone, it will come up in a very real part of my life and I must deal with it. If something goes down with a friend of mine, I must deal with it, or I won't be able to continue in this community. And that is so Good! It is so easy for us, I think perhaps especially in this day and age, to be isolated. It would be so easy for me to change churches, leave Atlanta, find a new circle of friends, and not work through that relationship. But this is not Christ-like, and this challenge is so good.
About a month ago a friend from a long time ago wrote me. We hadn't exactly parted on good terms...we didn't really part on any terms, but this letter challenged me to think about how one day we will be in heaven together, and our relationships will last for all eternity. Not that our relationship in heaven will be marred by our sins on earth, I think, but this was a reminder that there is no need to be hiding from one another. I think of people whom I have known in the past--whom I've been close to and have had a falling out with (or even just hurt by not keeping up the relationship), and I feel like this world is big enough so that I don't need to work on those relationships. It's easy for me to think that I never need see them again or interact with them on a deeper level, but One Day we will be worshipping our Creator side by side. How beautiful to restore relationships and live as the body of Christ should.
I living in this big city Atlanta, but really my life is within a relatively small community. And I'm glad for that - it's probably most of what keeps me here. But in a small community, you can't leave awkward or broken relationships alone without things going rotten. My students' families go to my church, my student is my next door neighbor, my dear friends worship with me on Sunday morning, my students watch me interact with my friends after church, I even see their parents at Starbucks...
The point is, if I sin agaisnt someone, it will come up in a very real part of my life and I must deal with it. If something goes down with a friend of mine, I must deal with it, or I won't be able to continue in this community. And that is so Good! It is so easy for us, I think perhaps especially in this day and age, to be isolated. It would be so easy for me to change churches, leave Atlanta, find a new circle of friends, and not work through that relationship. But this is not Christ-like, and this challenge is so good.
About a month ago a friend from a long time ago wrote me. We hadn't exactly parted on good terms...we didn't really part on any terms, but this letter challenged me to think about how one day we will be in heaven together, and our relationships will last for all eternity. Not that our relationship in heaven will be marred by our sins on earth, I think, but this was a reminder that there is no need to be hiding from one another. I think of people whom I have known in the past--whom I've been close to and have had a falling out with (or even just hurt by not keeping up the relationship), and I feel like this world is big enough so that I don't need to work on those relationships. It's easy for me to think that I never need see them again or interact with them on a deeper level, but One Day we will be worshipping our Creator side by side. How beautiful to restore relationships and live as the body of Christ should.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)